These are the lessons I’ve learned traveling.

There was a time when if I went to a new place, especially a place I might only see once in a lifetime, I really tried to do it all. I’d read the lists of “top things to do” and then try to cram in as many as possible. I often ended up going to places that everyone goes because everyone goes there. Over time I’ve learned that having a deeper immersive experience, or choosing the one thing that really interests us or even finding the thing that’s similar but not the place “everyone else is going” makes for a better experience. I’ve learned to quote the title of a popular new movie- I don’t have to do everything, everywhere, all at once!

For instance, after visits to Siem Reap, and Pompeii, Jeff and I recognized that ancient architecture doesn’t thrill us the way wildlife and nature do. We had gone because “everyone goes” and because it seemed foolish to go all that way and not see THE THING that everyone went to see. While those places were fascinating, those trips don’t rank as our top experiences. We enjoyed zipping around the night markets in Siem Reap on a scooter and hiking high above the Amalfi Coast more, and with limited time, would choose those experiences over the ancient architecture. Knowing this about ourselves, we planned our trip to Peru as a cruise along the Upper Amazon, and didn’t include Machu Picchu. We had an amazing experience and we have no regrets, even if we never return to Peru. We had the travel experience we most wanted, not “everything, everywhere, all at once”!

Our recent 22 day road trip to Florida and back was a study in applying this philosophy to our travels Much of our road trip was designed around visits to dear friends and family. Ticking the top ten checklist was less important than quality time with loved ones. So we prioritized one or two experiences that would give us a sense of the place, allow us quality time with our hosts and also learn more about their passions for their area or see things we might not have known to visit on our own.

As the travel planner, letting go of “everything” was an incredible experience and I came away with a deeper connection to each place and to the people we were there to see!

Charleston

We visited a childhood friend of ours, she and her husband are veterans and we enjoyed catching up, but also enjoyed seeing the city through their eyes, with an interest in military history. Without our local friends insight, we might not have known to stop and chat with Ms Trudy, a local palm weaver whose ancestors were enslaved in the area. Her personal stories, shared generously, really allowed us to have a full picture of this historic city.

Satellite Beach

Our visit to Satellite Beach was primarily to see family, but we also experienced a rocket launch, got to hike along the beach and get out on the rivers in a boat. All of this was great, but getting to do it with family and make sand castles with my great nieces and nephew, made our time there extra special.

Walt Disney World Orlando, FL

On our last trip to WDW, we had paid for Genie Plus, a ticket add on that allows guests to pay an additional fee to get Lightening Lane (accelerated) Access. I didn’t have a good experience with it, I felt compelled to keep adding attractions we’d paid to experience, instead of relaxing and enjoying the park. (see the details of that WDW trip HERE)

This trip, we didn’t pay for that option and we made an effort to experience all the attentions we remembered nostalgically from our childhood. We met friends in the park and enjoyed nibbling on goodies and looking at the art displays at the Art Festival and being lovers of animals, we spent time exploring the aquarium in Epcot, where we could chat and catch up with our friends. We did enjoy a couple of new attractions we hadn’t tried before, but didn’t feel the need to ride all the top rated attractions.

Asheville, NC

We had time only for a cup of coffee, but Asheville offers plenty of funky coffee shops, so we sought one out and soaked up the local vibes. With just an hour to visit, I looked at that top ten list on the tourism site and realized at 10:30 AM I wouldn’t find too many funky shops open or cool musical performances happening. Under the “arts” tab of the chamber of commerce site, I saw the South Slope Murals listed. I knew they’d be open 24/7 (though safer to visit during daylight!) and they’d be a colorful photographic subject for Jeff and a nice way to stretch our legs during a long ride

New River National Park Area, West VA

West Virginia was a little hole in the map of our places we’ve been in the US, so we decided to take a two night break there and explore the New River Gorge National Park. I sourced where to stay and some places to go with a face book friend who has a summer home there. There are literally hundreds of activities to do in this beautiful wild area, rock climbing, hiking, rafting, but our January visit ruled out many of them, so we concentrated on exploring the bridge built in 1977 that fundamentally changed the economy of area after the mining industry was finished there. By staying in a cozy cabin in the woods with an outdoor hot tub, we got to relax and soak up the gently falling snowflakes, while exploring some of the reclaimed former mining area.

Pittsburgh, PA

A visit to my sister and brother in law was our last trip before the pandemic. We rode the inclines, visited the Carnegie Museum, toured Pitt, my nieces university, walked to the point, ate in the old Station Square and saw the botanical gardens; Whew, we did all the Pittsburgh things, everywhere!

This trip, we slowed it down, spent an afternoon at the National Aviary and then went to Randyland- a North Side art installation by Randy, a community activist who self describes as being on the spectrum. It’s playful, creative place that’s got to be seen to be understood, and meeting Randy and hearing his story was a highlight. We also went to Penn Brewery, it’s no gentrified brew pub, this gritty real brewery was filled with real people greeting local friends, and served up the German specialties Pittsburgh is known for on big wide pine communal tables. We also spent an hour in the Side Car cafe where my niece works, enjoying hand pies and just catching up.

Because we were away for over 3 weeks, maybe we just didn’t feel the pressure to do “everything, everywhere, all at once” Maybe we knew that living out of a suitcase for a month means you need to schedule some down time, or maybe we are just slowing down as we get older. But spending quality time with our family and friends was the best part of our trip, and if we’d tried to do it all, we might have missed that time with friends. I can’t promise I still won’t try to hit the highlights when I visit a new place, but I do know I don’t have to do it all to have an amazing trip!

Photos by: J Klofft and K Klofft (and one selfie by Randy!)